• Jason Wilkinson

26 Ideas to Help You Connect in Your Marriage

Life gets busy and it can be hard to find ways to intentionally connect with your spouse. Even if you both are working from home, it is hard to find a good work/life balance. You could be spending more time near each other than ever before…and still feel light-years apart.

Still, it is important to find ways to let your spouse know that you are interested in them and find ways to demonstrate that. So, here is a list of ideas to help you connect with your spouse.

1) Cook a Meal — This has the possibility of being a fun and delicious way of spending time in your marriage!

2) Play Cards — The best way to find out if your spouse/partner is a card shark is to bust out the deck for a few games of “Go Fish!” Am I right?

3) Write Notes to Each Other — This is a beautiful way of figuring out if you need marriage counseling. If the notes are filled with “I wish you would load the dishwasher correctly,” then it might be time.

4) Wash Dishes Together — Who doesn’t want clean dishes? One person can wash, another person can dry. Or fill the dishwasher together.

5) Dance Together — The married couple that dances together, stays together.

6) Play a Board Game — Pull out a board game from your childhood and share that time with your spouse. You can share memories about playing these games when you were kid.

7) Cuddle — A little snuggle time can release some of those nice endorphins. That will make you feel great about your relationship. Connection is important to a long-lasting marriage.

8) Do an Escape Room — Want to do something as a team? An escape room can be a great way of working together to strategically accomplish a goal.

9) Order a Date Night in a Box — Couples who are too busy to date each other often end up in need of marriage counseling. If you are a busy couple, you can still figure out ways to date one another by using a service that mails you a planned date night.

10) Flirt/Hold Hands — Let your spouse or partner know that you are still interested. Holding hands releases “feel good” hormones. And continually flirting helps to communicate that you remain interested in your spouse/partner.

11) Volunteer Together — Not only can volunteering help your mental health as an individual, but it can strengthen your relationship, as well. And it can help you live a more thankful life, as well.

12) Workout Together — This is another one that helps your individual mental health, but it helps you accomplish a goal of wellness together.

13) Put a Puzzle Together — Puzzle making is a tried-and-true way to spend time together on a lazy afternoon. And if you follow these tips, the conversations that can be had while doing it are amazing!

14) Look at Old Photos — Reflecting on memories that you created can remind you of where you have come from. And get you excited about where you are heading.

15) Listen to a Podcast — Mystery? Educational? Woodworking? Home improvement? Bird calls? Whatever your interest, there is a good chance there is a podcast that will peak the interest for you and your spouse.

16) Visit a Different Coffee Shop Once a Week — Support local coffee shops. Turn off your cell phone. And stare into the eyes of the person you love while sipping on your favorite form of liquid gold.

17) Visit a Different Brewery Once a Week — The same as coffee, but with a drop or two of alcohol. Of course, you’ll need to be responsible with this one.

18) Go Play in the Snow — Head on up to the mountain and with a set of skis or snowboard. Make a snowperson and

19) Visit a Different Food Cart Once a Week — Portland, Oregon is a city known for its food carts! And food carts are spreading out and turning into “brick & mortar” type of restaurants throughout suburbs like Tualatin and Lake Oswego. Have fun exploring the different varieties of foods!

20) Have a Staring Contest — Nothing says, “I love you!” like looking deeply into the eyes of your loved one. And not breaking contact…until they have submitted to your gaze.

21) Go for a Hike —Whether it is hiking up the Gorge, going for a stroll down the beach in Newport, or walking the loop around Lake Oswego – there is so much to beauty to take in. And there is such variety in incline, decline, or strain. You can hold hands taking in while walking around the Tualatin Wildlife Refuge, or race each other up to Pittock Mansion.

22) Have a Picnic – Why not grab some food from your favorite food cart, then visit Washington Park? Or any of the amazing parks in the Portland area? Or grab some food, go for a hike, then have the picnic at the top of Council’s Crest? So many choices….

23) Go to the Coast – Astoria. Coos Bay. Waldport. Seaside. Cannon Beach. You get the idea. There are some amazing coastal towns up and down Oregon to visit. Each one is unique.

24) Daily Walks Around Your Neighborhood — You don’t have to leave your neighborhood to connect with your spouse. Simply going for a walk in the evening with your spouse can provide a great opportunity to connect with one another. And you may get to know your neighbors, too!

25) Turn off the Technology for a Day — This may take a bit of discipline for some, but the benefits are real. Turn off your phone, computer, television, and anything else that makes noise or grabs your attention. Take the challenge to be with one another.

26) Dream About the Future — Set aside some time to think about your hopes and dreams as a couple. Where are you wanting to go? What would you like your marriage to look like in a month? A year? Five years? Sharing your dreams with one another can help form a bond while thinking about what comes next.


There are a lot of ideas here, but you’ll likely want to take one and add your own creativity to it. Or find something that fits you even better!

Whatever it is, be committed to finding a way to connect. Your marriage is important and so worth it!


Jason Wilkinson helps marriages develop stronger bonds and communication with one another. He is the owner of Wellspace Counseling, which serves the communities of Tualatin, Lake Oswego, and the suburbs of Portland, Oregon. Online counseling is used to provide marriage and couples counseling throughout all of Oregon.