Have you ever gotten bad news before? If course you have. And when you get that bad news, how have you reacted to it?
Perhaps your go-to is to hop back into bed and pull the covers over your head. Or eat a pint of ice cream. Or video games. Or…you get the point.
There are times when it is okay to feel bad for yourself. But some people can get stuck in the cycle of self-pity. And that feeling of “stuck” keeps you from being able to move forward and accomplishing the goals that you have.
This is where a trait like resiliency can be so valuable. Having a level of grit or tenacity will help carry you through moments of depression and anxiety. And helps to shorten the periods of melancholy or self-pity.
It is a trait that you want to have in your career. In your marriage. And it is a trait that you want to foster in your children.
Here are some of the important characteristics of resiliency:
The Benefits of Resiliency #1 — The Ability to Endure Hard Times:
This life is going to bring challenges. It is inevitable. It is a guarantee. There is no way to avoid it.
But have you ever noticed how some people seem to roll with the punches? How do they do it?
Resilience allows people to be adaptable. A person with resilience has a good kind of stubbornness. A resilient person is able to be flexible in seeing what options are available in reaching a goal. Whether that be business. In school. Or in parenting.
Having resiliency can help you endure those difficulties and make it through to happier times again.
The Benefits of Resiliency #2 — Limit Negative Self-Messages:
We all carry negative messages with us. These are the messages that tell us that we are not good enough. That we don’t measure up. That we cannot accomplish a goal. Negative messages cause greater bouts of anxiety.
Resilient people are far less susceptible to these negative messages. It is not that they do not have these negative messages. It’s that they don’t hold onto them.
Resiliency allows people to fight back the negative messages to continue moving forward.
Being able to fight back negative messages is so useful. You can fight back messages that your project at work is not going to succeed. Or that you aren’t a capable student. Or that you are failing as a parent.
Resilient people are more quickly able to recognize untrue messages. In fact, resiliency will inform you that even if all those things were true, you will push forward to accomplish your goals anyway.
The Benefits of Resiliency #3 — Overcome Overwhelming Stress:
Stress happens. Sometimes it’s good to have stress. A certain level of stress motivates us to do tasks or perform well in activities.
But, there are times when stress can be overwhelming. School. Work. Kids. Marriages. These all need different levels of commitment and work.
When they all simultaneously have deadlines…well…that’s just overwhelming. And sometimes it pushes into anxiety. And that can feel debilitating.
Rather than being productive when dealing with a certain amount of stress, you might become avoidant. You push off the tasks. You distract yourself with other activities — like online shopping, videogames, or drinking.
Strengthening your ability to be resilient will help you to overcome overwhelming stress and anxiety. Resilient people are able to regulate their emotions. They can get an accurate understanding of what is happening. They can focus on the steps of what needs to get done. And they can act.
And resilient people also know when it is time to let a few things drop off the list. They recognize that they will be okay…even if they cannot accomplish everything on the “to-do” list.
Conclusion
There is so much more to resiliency than what we’ve discussed here. Resiliency can help you become a better communicator in your marriage. It can help you demonstrate leadership skills in your career.
It can help you live a happier life.
If you wish to grow in your own resiliency, a professional counselor can help you. Get started on that journey today.
Jason Wilkinson is the owner Wellspace Counseling. He is passionate about helping individuals and marriages develop the resiliency in reaching the goals the aspire to reach. Wellspace Counseling serves people in Tualatin, Lake Oswego, Portland, and throughout the state of Oregon.