• Jason Wilkinson

The Keys to Nurture Your Marriage or Relationship


Lots of things in life need care and nurture for it to be strong and prosperous.


A career. A baby. A house plant.


And your relationship.


Marriages and relationships need time and care. And there are specific things you can do to nurture your relationship and marriage to make it grow healthy and strong.


Here are a few things you can do to nurture your relationship and marriage to help make it last!


Tip #1 to Nurture a Healthy Marriage — Listen:


One of the single greatest gifts we can give another person is to listen to them. And not just to take on a passive role as a listener. But to actively listen.


This is also one of the great keys to helping to make relationships and marriages last over the years.


No one likes to think they are coming in second to a television show, right? Or that they are less important or valuable than the latest Tik Tok video craze? Or that the game on the television is more meaningful than the relationship?


When we take the time to engage in the process of listening intentionally and actively, we are communicating to our spouse or partner that they are the priority. That what they have to say matters. That they matter to us.


This doesn’t always mean that what they have to say is going to be easy for you to hear. But being able to stay in the conversation is important. Especially when there is a hard topic to discuss.


Being able to navigate hard conversations leads to greater trust and intimacy. And it can be done through the use of active listening skills and emotional self-regulation.


Tip #2 to Nurture a Healthy Marriage — Encourage:


Do you know any relationships where one partner seems to critique the actions or behaviors of the other?

Married couple laughing after marriage therapy at Wellspace Counseling in Tualatin, OR. 97062 | 97034 | 97035 | 97219 | 97140
Photo by Matheus Ferrero

For example, one partner spends 30 minutes after dinner doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen. Feeling satisfied with the work, the person leaves the kitchen only to hear their spouse say, “You filled the dishwasher wrong. And the counter still has breadcrumbs on it.”


That can leave a person feeling dejected. Or frustrated. And it can lead to more conflict.


Rather than looking for ways for our spouse or partner to improve their behavior, providing recognition for the things that have been done well can promote a greater level of satisfaction. For you and for your partner.


The gift of an encouraging word can be so uplifting. It can change the tenor of a relationship. It will lead to more participation in the relationship.


And that is a much higher value than getting the dishwasher loaded in the exact right way.


Tip #3 to Nurture a Healthy Marriage — Acceptance:


Is there anything more life giving to a relationship than to demonstrate acceptance of another? To communicate to a spouse or partner that “You belong here”?


Acceptance lets your spouse or partner know that you see all of them. The good stuff. And the bad stuff. And that they are accepted just as they are. That who they are as a person is enough to be loved.


Couple hugging in front of trees and greenspace. 97062 | 97034 | 97035 | 97219 | 97140
Photo by Gus Moretta on Unsplash

And acceptance does not have to mean approval.


For example, you do not have to approve of your child biting their toenails for you to accept and love that child. They are accepted despite that nasty behavior.


The same can be said of your spouse or partner.


It is possible to accept people for who they are without approving of every action or behavior. To see that person. To love that person. And to communicate care for that person.


And then to have a hard conversation over the uncouth behavior.


Of course, it should be noted that there are circumstances or behaviors that cannot be accepted. Domestic violence is one of them. And under those circumstances, it is not possible to build a healthy, nurturing relationship without dramatic change.


 

How Marriage or Couples Therapy at Wellspace Counseling Can Help Nurture Your Relationship


Jason Wilkinson believes that marriage or couples counseling is a good investment in your relationship. Jason is the owner of Wellspace Counseling, which exists to serve individuals and couples living in Tualatin, Lake Oswego, and the greater Portland Metro area to reach emotional and mental wellness. Wellspace Counseling also provides services throughout the state of Oregon through online therapy.


If you are tired of toxic fighting, marriage or couples therapy at Wellspace Counseling can help you gain some control over the emotions that lead to increased conflict.


Schedule your free phone consultation to start your journey to mental and emotional wellness.


OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES


Emotional regulation is not the only benefit to receiving therapy at Wellspace Counseling in Tualatin, Lake Oswego and throughout Portland, Oregon. Some other services you might be interested in include: Individual Counseling Teen Counseling College and Young Adult Counseling Anxiety Counseling Couples and Marriage Counseling All Services are available via online therapy in Oregon