• Jason Wilkinson

Six Hard Topics of Conversation for Couples

There are many topics that can cause fractures in a marriage or relationship. And feelings can get hurt over time when these topics are not handled with care.


Too often the default mode is to avoid the topic altogether. After all, having hard discussions can be intimidating. They can cause anxiety.


Here are six of the difficult topics that can causes significant turmoil in a relationship.


Hard Topic of Conversation #1 — Money:


Money can be a point of conflict for couples. One person might be very interested in saving money with eyes on security or early retirement. The other is willing to spend freely to go on vacations, buy a new television, or go out to eat more often.


Financial goals will often look different for couples. Or even for individuals in a relationship.


And while couples counseling won’t make two people come to an agreement, it can help two people stay emotionally-regulated enough to have conversations around the topic of finances.


Hard Topic of Conversation #2 — How to Raise Children:


Being able to partner together in raising children can be a challenge in relationships. Especially when it comes to discipline.


Is it appropriate to give your kid a “timeout’? What do parents do when a child throws a tantrum? Or gets in trouble at school? Or goes to one parent when they did not get the answer they were hoping for about dessert?


Couples don’t always have agreement in how to care for or discipline children. Having constant, intentional conversations about values around raising children can help couples manage the eventual conflicts that comes with raising little humans.


Hard Topic of Conversation #3 — Sexual Intimacy:


Sex can be the kind of subject that many couples avoid talking about. And that avoidance in conversation can often lead to unspoken frustrations.


There can be unspoken differences in expectations. In frequency of sex. In foreplay. And in desire.


When done with gentleness and compassion, communication with one another about the topic of sex can be liberating & build emotional intimacy.


Hard Topic of Conversation #4 — Spending Time with One Another:


Life gets busy and can pull couples and marriages in separate directions. Busyness creeps into a week. And before you know it, a couple may not have said more than a couple of sentences to each other. And those sentences were likely about logistics in handling the busyness.


Having regular “date nights” are forgotten about or ignored. And many couples spend their free time together distracted by cell phones, televisions, or computers.


Finding intentional ways to connect in your marriage or relationship will help to avoid emotions of loneliness and neglect.


Hard Topic of Conversation #5 — Household Chores:


Work doesn’t often stop at your job. There is a lot of effort that goes into having a home. Dishes. Garbage. Mowing the lawn. Vacuuming. Creating meals. Paying bills.


The list goes on and on.


Couples who do not communicate will often feel an imbalance in chores or work being done around the house. And that can cause some resentment.


Hard Topic of Conversation #6 — Extended Family:


Problems with the “in laws”? Many couples have had them. Especially when it comes to the holiday season.


There are often family demands or expectations that can be placed upon a couple. And sometimes feelings get hurt when those demands or expectations are not met.


One person in the relationship may feel as though they are being attacked by the family. And they wonder why their partner is not sticking up for them.


Another person feels like they are being put in the uncomfortable position of being in the middle.


Being able to set expectations and boundaries with extended family members can help couples get on the same page and avoid wedge issues.


 

Wellspace Counseling Can Show You How Manage Hard Topics


There are several obstacles to a strong relationship.


That is what makes communication important for a successful relationship and marriage.


Wellspace Counseling provides therapy for couples looking to strengthen their relationships and marriages. Couples can gain the tools to manage emotions and successfully communicate.


Wellspace Counseling in Tualatin, Oregon can provide therapy to individuals and couples in Tualatin, Lake Oswego, and Portland. Online therapy can also be used for those who live in other parts throughout the state of Oregon.


Schedule your free phone consultation with Jason Wilkinson to start your journey to mental and emotional wellness.


OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES


Learning to manage relational conflict is not the only benefit to receiving therapy at Wellspace Counseling in Tualatin, Lake Oswego and throughout Portland, Oregon. Some other services you might be interested in include: Individual Counseling College and Young Adult Counseling Anxiety Counseling Couples and Marriage Counseling All Services are available via online therapy in Oregon