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Reasons Why Restoration Therapy Works in Marriage Counseling & Couples Therapy

Kathleen and Robert are thrilled with their experience in couples counseling.

The couple was not sure what to expect in couples therapy before they started. But they knew that they needed something to change.

Kathleen and Robert knew there were benefits to seeing a marriage counselor. But they were not expecting to learn so much about themselves in the process.

Once the therapist began to use the techniques of Restoration Therapy, the couple was comforted. For the first time, they could clearly recognize and understanding their conflict. And the reasons for their arguing.

And for the first time, they had hope that it could change.

Restoration Therapy provides opportunities for couples to find a different way to relate. Here’s some reasons why Restoration Therapy helps couples and marriages:

Reason #1 Why RT Works in Marriage Counseling & Couples Therapy — Gain Awareness into How You Operate:

Have you ever been in a fight with your partner or spouse that feels familiar? It’s almost like you are stuck in the same cycle of conflict.

Same argument. Different day.

Using Restoration Therapy for marriage therapy guides a couple into understanding how they interact with each other while dealing with painful emotions. A couple will learn in counseling what coping mechanisms they tend to use when receiving painful messages, and how their partner reacts to those coping behaviors.

In other words, a couple will learn about their “pain cycle” in Restoration Therapy.

And gaining an awareness of the pain cycle can be a powerful motivator for change.

Reason #2 Why RT Works in Marriage Counseling & Couples Therapy — Slows Down the Process:

When a couple is actively engaged in their cycle of painful emotions, they become emotionally dysregulated.

And it happens fast.

Restoration Therapy will help couples slow down the automatic responses that occur due the emotional pain and negative messages floating around. It helps couples to become intentional in challenging their current way of thinking and interacting.

Reason #3 Why RT Works in Marriage Counseling & Couples Therapy — Empowers the Individual to Own Emotions:

Restoration Therapy helps the individuals inside of the relationship to work on self-regulation.

Each person is responsible for their own emotions and the coinciding coping behaviors.

A person will learn to rely on what is true about the marriage or relationship while in Restoration Therapy, rather than just the painful emotions. A person will learn what is true about self.

I have yet to meet the person who wants to be angry all day because of how their partner or spouse asked a question. Or because someone forgot to take the trash out. Yet we frequently allow this to happen in our lives.

Restoration Therapy will empower the individual to take charge of their emotions. A person does not have to let a bad experience or moment ruin an entire day. Or a relationship. Not if they don’t want it to.

And it’s probably not a great idea to give someone else that kind of power over your emotions, either.

Reason #4 Why RT Works in Marriage Counseling & Couples Therapy — Changes the Relational Cycle:

A shift can happen when one person inside of the relationship begins to live outside of the pain cycle. Now…imagine what happens when both people start doing it.

When a couple is able to use tools to regulate their emotions, they can take advantage of tools to improve communication. There will be a decrease of anxiety within the marriage. And an increase of peace within the relationship.

That’s what you are looking for.


Marriage therapy and couple counseling can be an incredible gift to yourself, your partner, and your family.

It can help you start feeling like you are on the same team.

Restoration Therapy can help you get to where you want to go in your marriage or as a couple. And you will see benefits show up in other areas of your life.

Like at work.

Or with your kids.

Restoration Therapy will help you learn the tools to improve your relationship. And to gain a greater sense of peace within your life.


Jason Wilkinson is the owner of Wellspace Counseling, a private mental health practice located in Tualatin, Oregon. Jason enjoys helping people discover better ways to communicate and work to become a better team through marriage and couples counseling. He serves the individuals & couples in the communities of Tualatin, Lake Oswego, Portland, and throughout the state of Oregon through the use of online counseling.


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